Transitions in Marriage.

What simple action could you take today to produce a new momentum toward success in your life and in your marriage? Marriage plays a big role in our society and it is one of the biggest steps towards your progression. We can learn many things when we go to school, work, different courses, etc, but we still grow and learn even more in our marriage. When people decide to get married, many ideas and expectations are in their life at that time. However, not everything can go perfectly in the way that we desire. 

Most of the time, it is required a lot of hard work, patience, and as well as faith. If we compare school time with marriage, or work with marriage the similarity that we can find between them is growth, failure, and success. Nowadays, young couples expect their life can be all sunny with a rainbow and without a stormy day. Disappointment comes in the relationship when the first challenges show up in their life and they are confused about how to overcome them. When we fail the test in school for the first time in one of our subjects, mostly we do not give up and live the school in the middle only for one class. Priority is to finish the major successfully, and we will do everything to pass that class, or to retake over and over again. The same principle we should follow in our marriage life. 

According to the statistics, most of the time people get married when they are young from 25-28 years old. In some other cultures, those statistics change but the average is around 20’-30’. However, we forget that during this time those people had lived only with roommates during the time of college, parents, or alone. When people get married it is a big step for them which will bring many different things in their life. One of the theories that help me to pictured my future marriage is the “Yin and Yang” theory. In Ancient Chinese philosophy, yin and yang is a concept of dualism, describing how seemingly opposite or contrary forces may actually be complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world, and how they may give rise to each other as they interrelate to one another. 

First of all, understanding the capacity of each partner and the differences that characters each of us, can make transitions in marriage much easier. Mostly, the problem in marriage life is not only in the first steps of our relationship. It comes and goes during our time that we stay and live together, bring children in life, make changes for a better life, share bank accounts, etc. Therefore, we should accept those changes and differences that we see and have in our life. One experience of those transitions is the story of Anabel. She is a friend of mine and even she is the same as me, her life is different for my life. We were born in the same city in the same year with three months between each other. Even though, we were best friends since children she changed a lot after she had her first boyfriend, who was her first husband as well. She was so in love and after she turned 18 they got married. In the first couple of months, I could see Anabel really happy and she told me that was planning on having a baby. In the fourth month, she got pregnant and I was so excited for her. Unfortunately, they lost the baby and this tragic moment brought many issues and fights in her marriage. They got divorced after 1 year and a half. When I met my friend and asked her why they could no try to fix the marriage, or could do something to fix this thing that came in their life. Her response was that it was hard for her to work alone and to don’t find support from her husband. Over 6 months my friend got through these situations and she was able to find again hope in her life. Now she had been married again, with another boy, and I can see that things that were not working out in her first marriage now they are working because everything that life is through to them they can respond together and pass that together. 

A perfect marriage is between two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other. Like our families, parents, God, and many people that support us never gave up on us in our difficulty time, we should never give up immediately in the person that we decided to get married but work through things that life can bring and help each other with love and compassion.