Understanding Family Dynamics & Theories

The love in our family flows strong and deep, leaving us memories of the treasure and keep.

When we speak about family the first thing that comes in our mind is parents, siblings, or other people that influence our life for good. Each of us is different, and the roots where we come from makes a huge change. Last time that I posted in my blog, I talked a bit about my conversion story in the faith that I believe and develop today. However many people ask me now that I came in America, what is Albania like, what are some traditional things there, how is your family like and what are some rules that you had during your childhood.

Today I would like to speak about some dynamics and impacts that influenced my life when I was growing up and realizing some of the differences and similarities between my family and other families especially in America where I live now. First of all, My family is not that big and we are altogether four people my parent, me and my oldest sister. Basically, we are really close and we love having fun and entertaining a lot with other members of the family such as my cousins’ grandparents or uncles and aunties. During my childhood, my parents were really good teachers in giving us life long lessons which are valuable today for me even though I do live far from them in college. When I was growing up, I did not like all things that they taught me, however, I was able to stay enough in the path of their teaching and to become a better person every day. If we look and understand the perspective of their teaching with another view, my parents used different theories such as exchange symbols and system theory. I will give some examples form each of them.




One of my favorite theories that I applied mostly is symbol theory. Actions are better than 100 of wards. This was one of the biggest phrases that my parents used all the time to describes something to me and my sister. They are really generous people, loving and caring. When investigators came in my home, or other family members one of the “rules” that we had (and still is) was to invite the person to eat or drink something that we have in our home in the sign of hospitality and welcoming. We were not allowed to go inside of the house with shoes and this was a symbol of respect for the place that we live “Representing as a temple” We should keep slippers and socks.




Some other dynamics that impacted me were exchange theory. Where I lived in Albania, my neighborhood was really small and we were close to our neighbors. My mother always told me that you should give more that you receive. However, this was not my favorite thing when I was young and the feeling that I had was that people were using us. On the other hand, they were giving us back in ways that I did not understand. In my own experience is a compelling example of this. Every time that I went to school and my neighbors had their garbage outside, I should grab and through them away for them. Sometimes I was lazy or late for school and my mother should yell at me that I did not help and show service to them. On the other side, neighbors were giving us back many things such as good friendship, loyalty, food when we needed, etc.




Many rules and traditions we had in my family and because of that, I do still apply those in my college life now. For instance, when my roommates do not clean the dishes I will be the one doing those for them and expressing my example. This is service as well we exchange things to one another and help in the needs of the other person. Even though many people and friends that I get to know from different countries do not have the same traditions and rules as to how they grow up in their family, I still apply my childhood teaching and I try to respect their behaviors. Everyone is different and that what makes us special. Family is like music, some high notes, some low notes, but always a beautiful song.